Remember watching the first Ghost Rider movie and thinking, 'This might be the worst comic book adaptation in move history"? The Spirit of Vengeance will change your previous opinion.
Nicolas Cage sets new lows as he resumes his role of Johnny Blaze (AKA The Ghost Rider). And his phoned-in performance is what we've come to know and expect out of Cage: stiff and bordering on insanity.
This new film retains it's namesake character but changes everything else. New setting (now in Eastern Europe as Blaze is trying to run away from his demons). New damsel in distress. New villains (even cheezier than those in the first film). They even re-wrote history inserting a new character (Roarke - played by Ciarán Hinds) as the devil who made a deal with Blaze and transformed him into The Ghost Rider. In the first movie that role was fulfilled by Peter Fonda as the character Mephistopheles.
The sad part of of Spirit of Vengeance is that the rest of the cast is far more entertaining than the central character. Riordan as the son of the devil and Placido as his mother trying to save him from evil both turn in more compelling performances than Cage. Elba's character Moreau (a drunken warrior monk) is infinitely more interesting than The Ghost Rider. In fact, the first few minutes of the film featuring Moreau and the boy/mother escaping a handful of assassins after an attack at a monastery hold promise that this might actually be an enjoyable movie.
But our hopes of a good film are trampled as soon as The Ghost Rider's animated introduction is splashed across the screen. What we're left with is overblown special effects, CGI that dances between spectacular and shoddy, a frantic story line, and Cage's throwaway one liners. Toss in Cage's typical performance alternating from manic to stoic, and we're left with an abysmal movie that makes it's predecessor look like an Oscar worthy work of genius. Not an easy task considering the first Ghost Rider movie was an utter pile of trash.
Showing posts with label Columbia Pictures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Columbia Pictures. Show all posts
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
If you are planning on seeing The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, prepare yourself for two things.
First, it is a deeply disturbing movie. As one of the protagonists mentions early in the film, the characters involved are "thieves, misers, bullies - the most detestable collection of people that you will ever meet." Both Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) the discredited journalist and Salander (Rooney Mara) the hacker hired to help catch a killer of women are faced with violence and pain. They suffer torture, mental abuse, and sexual assault. Their investigation uncovers a series of ritualistic levitical murders. From the disorienting opening sequence (typical of director Fincher's work) set to Trent Reznor's version on Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song, through the use of Enya's Orinoco Flow during a pivotal scene, much of this movie seems to wallow in the depravities of man.
The second thing you should be prepared to endure is shameless product placement. There's no attempt to disguise or subliminally allude to corporate sponsorship. Brand recognition is not subtly flashed across the screen or quietly hinted at - it is brazenly displayed leaving no doubt who helped fund the film. In the first fifteen minutes alone, I noticed blatant plugs for Marlboro, Apple, Coke, and Google. As the movie continued, companies like McDonalds and Nokia found some convenient advertising.
While this is not a movie for those with a week stomach, it is well done. David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, Zodiac) knows what he's doing. He is skilled at coaxing stellar performances out of actors in films typically burdened by dark subject matter.
The Swedish setting is beautiful at times yet maintains a haunting quality. Reznor and collaborator Atticus Ross (the same duo that scored Fincher's last movie - The Social Network) composed a stunning soundtrack that fits the mood and sets the pace throughout The Dragon Tattoo.
If I offer any recommendations it's tepid at best. My biggest reservations with Dragon Tattoo - aside from the film's graphic nature - are parts that did not make the leap from book to movie. While Mara does a fantastic job portraying the broken and emotionally fragile character of Salander, we fail to see why she's so messed up - quirks that are aptly explained in the book. I will also warn that parts of the movie were extremely difficult to watch - especially the scene where Salander carries out revenge on her sadistic state-appointed caretaker.
Over all, I was impressed with what Fincher accomplished, however The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is not a film I'd ever want to see again.
First, it is a deeply disturbing movie. As one of the protagonists mentions early in the film, the characters involved are "thieves, misers, bullies - the most detestable collection of people that you will ever meet." Both Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) the discredited journalist and Salander (Rooney Mara) the hacker hired to help catch a killer of women are faced with violence and pain. They suffer torture, mental abuse, and sexual assault. Their investigation uncovers a series of ritualistic levitical murders. From the disorienting opening sequence (typical of director Fincher's work) set to Trent Reznor's version on Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song, through the use of Enya's Orinoco Flow during a pivotal scene, much of this movie seems to wallow in the depravities of man.
The second thing you should be prepared to endure is shameless product placement. There's no attempt to disguise or subliminally allude to corporate sponsorship. Brand recognition is not subtly flashed across the screen or quietly hinted at - it is brazenly displayed leaving no doubt who helped fund the film. In the first fifteen minutes alone, I noticed blatant plugs for Marlboro, Apple, Coke, and Google. As the movie continued, companies like McDonalds and Nokia found some convenient advertising.
While this is not a movie for those with a week stomach, it is well done. David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, Zodiac) knows what he's doing. He is skilled at coaxing stellar performances out of actors in films typically burdened by dark subject matter.
The Swedish setting is beautiful at times yet maintains a haunting quality. Reznor and collaborator Atticus Ross (the same duo that scored Fincher's last movie - The Social Network) composed a stunning soundtrack that fits the mood and sets the pace throughout The Dragon Tattoo.
If I offer any recommendations it's tepid at best. My biggest reservations with Dragon Tattoo - aside from the film's graphic nature - are parts that did not make the leap from book to movie. While Mara does a fantastic job portraying the broken and emotionally fragile character of Salander, we fail to see why she's so messed up - quirks that are aptly explained in the book. I will also warn that parts of the movie were extremely difficult to watch - especially the scene where Salander carries out revenge on her sadistic state-appointed caretaker.
Over all, I was impressed with what Fincher accomplished, however The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is not a film I'd ever want to see again.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Zombieland
In the realm of monster/horror movies, the zombie sub-genre is an easy favorite of mine. There's a primal terror in the walking dead - whether as a result of viral infection or Cajun mysticism. We fear the loss of autonomy, we fear being hunted, we fear the unknown lurking around every corner, we fear the unrealistic possibility that a zombie apocalypse might happen in real life.
I love when movies instill that sense of dread. I'm amazed when the same movie that terrifies me also makes me laugh like a ticklish clown that's high on nitrous oxide.
Enter Zombieland.
Zombieland is not the fist movie to combine horror and comedy. It's not even the first to pair slapstick with the undead. Yet it does it so well. It deviates from the pure absurdity of 2004's Shaun of the Dead without devaluing it's predecessor. Zombieland is to Shaun of the Dead what National Lampoon is to Monty Python. Both films are excellent in their common purpose via differing brands of twisted comedic styles. As closing credits began to roll over Zombieland's amusement park, my father-in-law chuckled "that's the funniest zombie movie I've ever seen."
He's correct.
But it's not just a movie about Zombies. And it is more than a funny movie about zombies. It's also a movie about rules. Thanks to my over-developed sense of justice, this is where I think the movie succeeds.
Told from the point of view of a hapless loser/video game geek (Jesse Eisenberg), the nerd survives by compiling an ever-growing list of rules. Simple rules: cardio, wear seatbelts, and beware of bathrooms. These rules are not just demonstrated, but repeated and highlighted through on-screen lettering that is as much scenery as they are props.
Beyond that, Woody Harrelson plays his maniacal self and shows us why his best perfomances happen when his character is slightly unhinged. The movie pulls some hefty punches. From the the opening sequence with a soon-to-be Kibbles & Bits fat kid running accross a football field to the prankings of the con-artist sisters (Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone). From the Dualing Banjo bait/takedown to the quest for a Twinkie. From Bill Murray's genius (albiet predictable) cameo to the climatic roller coaster ride and zombie-clown. Zombieliand is a movie that knows it's identity and flaunts it with admirable bravado.
Granted it comes with the price of prerequsit zombie gore, 30 some odd f-bombs, and the coarse teasing of modern comedy. It's a laugh 'til your bowels hurt kind of movie, a must for fans horror but not recomended for the squeamish.
I love when movies instill that sense of dread. I'm amazed when the same movie that terrifies me also makes me laugh like a ticklish clown that's high on nitrous oxide.
Enter Zombieland.
Zombieland is not the fist movie to combine horror and comedy. It's not even the first to pair slapstick with the undead. Yet it does it so well. It deviates from the pure absurdity of 2004's Shaun of the Dead without devaluing it's predecessor. Zombieland is to Shaun of the Dead what National Lampoon is to Monty Python. Both films are excellent in their common purpose via differing brands of twisted comedic styles. As closing credits began to roll over Zombieland's amusement park, my father-in-law chuckled "that's the funniest zombie movie I've ever seen."
He's correct.
But it's not just a movie about Zombies. And it is more than a funny movie about zombies. It's also a movie about rules. Thanks to my over-developed sense of justice, this is where I think the movie succeeds.
Told from the point of view of a hapless loser/video game geek (Jesse Eisenberg), the nerd survives by compiling an ever-growing list of rules. Simple rules: cardio, wear seatbelts, and beware of bathrooms. These rules are not just demonstrated, but repeated and highlighted through on-screen lettering that is as much scenery as they are props.
Beyond that, Woody Harrelson plays his maniacal self and shows us why his best perfomances happen when his character is slightly unhinged. The movie pulls some hefty punches. From the the opening sequence with a soon-to-be Kibbles & Bits fat kid running accross a football field to the prankings of the con-artist sisters (Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone). From the Dualing Banjo bait/takedown to the quest for a Twinkie. From Bill Murray's genius (albiet predictable) cameo to the climatic roller coaster ride and zombie-clown. Zombieliand is a movie that knows it's identity and flaunts it with admirable bravado.
Granted it comes with the price of prerequsit zombie gore, 30 some odd f-bombs, and the coarse teasing of modern comedy. It's a laugh 'til your bowels hurt kind of movie, a must for fans horror but not recomended for the squeamish.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Book of Eli
"What movie are we going to go see?" Bekah asked.
"Book of Eli."
"Who's in it?"
"Denzel Washington."
"You know I love me some Denzel. What is it about?"
"30 years after a cataclysmic war..."
"Is it another post-apocalyptic movie?"
I nodded my head, "Yes."
"What is it with you and post-apocalyptic movies?!"
This is how our conversation started as my wife and I left the house on Saturday afternoon. Yes, it is a post-apocalyptic movie, but it’s got Denzel and Bekah is a fan of Denzel.
Now to finish the thought: 30 years after a cataclysmic war, we meet Eli (Denzel Washington). He’s been walking for 30 years because God told him to take the only remaining Bible west to someplace where it would be safe. Religion was blamed for the war and all known religious texts were destroyed. (However, both Mussolini’s biography and Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code survived.)
All is going well. Eli has cat for dinner (which he shares with a mouse), acquires a new pair of boots from a corpse, and falls asleep while listening to Al Green. All Eli has to do is stay on the path. But his MP3 player’s battery dies and needs recharged. He passes through a town that has the ability to recharge electronics and access to clean drinking water (aka – the good stuff). It is at this point that Eli’s path is broken.
The town is ruled by the intelligent yet diabolical Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who is hungry for power. He is an avid reader, and is searching for a Bible. When he finds out Eli has one, Carnegie pursues Eli to forcibly take it. To complicate matters, rebellious girl Solara (Mila Kunis), the daughter of Carnegie’s blind servant wants to go with Eli to where ever he is going. Eli is reluctant (for her own protection) but agrees to her company.
The movie is a sci-fi homage to the western genre (including a mid-town standoff and ensuing shootout). It is also a morality tale filled with religious allegory. God’s word is presented from two diametrically opposite view points: Eli believes the Bible has the power to save humanity, and Carnegie sees it as a weapon. Eli’s violent methods of self defense (and the lengths he takes to protect the Bible) are a stark contrast to his beliefs. In a short explanation for his actions, Eli admits that after reading the Bible every day for 30 years, he’s missed the message it teaches.
Graciously, the film makers do not use the religious tone to harangue non-believers into becoming God-fearing believers. While the message of the movie is about the power of faith, the only condemnation portrayed is a discourse on modern consumerism. Solara asks what life was like before the war; Eli explains we had more than we needed and we threw away stuff that people now kill for.
Coloring is as much a part of the cast as Denzel or Oldman. The Hughes Brothers drained the film of color leaving mostly sepia tints of brown, gray, and green. It is an interesting lesson in using color to tell a story, but in the long run is a burdensome. The desert landscapes and burnt skies set the mood for the movie but it adds a sense of somnolence to an all ready despondent plot. The Hughes Brothers play this aspect of film making to a maddening degree – exploiting it with wide panoramic shots of clouds, distant injections of barren wastelands, excessive close ups, and silhouetted action sequences.
While the coloring is overbearing, it also highlights moments of poignant grief – most memorably (without spoiling the plot) is Eli reading from Second Timothy chapter four in the final scene.
There are bits of biting humor. Eli smelling roadside bandits. Eli sending Solara to retrieve his sunglasses. The crazy old couple serving tea. And in one of my favorite scenes, Solara asks Eli to read the Bible to her (she – like most people under the age of 30 can’t read because they were born after the war). Eli quotes Psalm 23 which Solara states is beautiful. She asks Eli if he wrote it; he answers “yes” before admitting he’s joking.
However, neither heartbreak nor humor is the vehicle that carries this mission of faith. This is more Bekah’s warning than mine: it is a little violent. And by a little, I mean it is violent on an epically gratuitous scale. Limbs are severed, heads are decapitated, the air is filled with gunfire and explosions, and there are several references to cannibalism. Eli handles his weaponry (machete, bow & arrow, pistol and sawed-off shotgun) with surgical accuracy. Carnegie uses a brutally destructive arsenal to hunt down Eli (rocket launchers and gatling guns). And it is all done with the stylistic finesse of the gospel according to Kill Bill.
Be prepared. The pacing is slow. In the first ten minutes of film, the only dialog is Eli talking to a mouse. The tenor of the movie is also unsettling (likely done intentionally). Watching Eli sharpen his machete while listening to How Can You Mend a Broken Heart is a little disconcerting.
The acting is as good as it the post-apocalyptic genre gets. Gary Oldman is convincing in his maniacal thirst for power. Denzel Washington’s devotion (and ultimately compassion) proves his worth in Hollywood. Even Mila Kunis (despite looking like she’s dressed in the best Banana Republic the apocalypse has to offer) perfectly portrays the dichotomy of naïveté and emotional strength. There are also a couple of great cameos from Tom Waits (musician) and Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange).
Bekah recommends it as a movie worth watching but not one she’d want to see more than once. I want to see it again – if only to see if Denzel’s character stays true to the story’s final twist. The Book of Eli is also a great way to launch conversations about matters of faith. This movie sparked more discussion between Bekah and me than any other movie since... well... that I can remember.
Our dialog continued from the theater to the car (and for most of the drive home from Spokane Valley).
“Would you do that? Would you walk for 30 years?” Bekah asked.
“I don’t know.”
“It was a little too violent... and too much swearing.” Yet she likes the Die Hard movies which expels more bullets than a trigger happy NRA member at a shooting range and drops more f-bombs than a drunken sailor.
“Well,” I rebutted, “most of the violence was in self defense, and the vulgarity was from the bad guys.”
“True. And Eli’s motivation made sense. But still... did they have to show the guys head getting chopped off? And with a machete? It’s just so much more personal.”
PS: for the record, I’ve satisfied my post-apocalyptic fix for a while.
"Book of Eli."
"Who's in it?"
"Denzel Washington."
"You know I love me some Denzel. What is it about?"
"30 years after a cataclysmic war..."
"Is it another post-apocalyptic movie?"
I nodded my head, "Yes."
"What is it with you and post-apocalyptic movies?!"
This is how our conversation started as my wife and I left the house on Saturday afternoon. Yes, it is a post-apocalyptic movie, but it’s got Denzel and Bekah is a fan of Denzel.
Now to finish the thought: 30 years after a cataclysmic war, we meet Eli (Denzel Washington). He’s been walking for 30 years because God told him to take the only remaining Bible west to someplace where it would be safe. Religion was blamed for the war and all known religious texts were destroyed. (However, both Mussolini’s biography and Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code survived.)
All is going well. Eli has cat for dinner (which he shares with a mouse), acquires a new pair of boots from a corpse, and falls asleep while listening to Al Green. All Eli has to do is stay on the path. But his MP3 player’s battery dies and needs recharged. He passes through a town that has the ability to recharge electronics and access to clean drinking water (aka – the good stuff). It is at this point that Eli’s path is broken.
The town is ruled by the intelligent yet diabolical Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who is hungry for power. He is an avid reader, and is searching for a Bible. When he finds out Eli has one, Carnegie pursues Eli to forcibly take it. To complicate matters, rebellious girl Solara (Mila Kunis), the daughter of Carnegie’s blind servant wants to go with Eli to where ever he is going. Eli is reluctant (for her own protection) but agrees to her company.
The movie is a sci-fi homage to the western genre (including a mid-town standoff and ensuing shootout). It is also a morality tale filled with religious allegory. God’s word is presented from two diametrically opposite view points: Eli believes the Bible has the power to save humanity, and Carnegie sees it as a weapon. Eli’s violent methods of self defense (and the lengths he takes to protect the Bible) are a stark contrast to his beliefs. In a short explanation for his actions, Eli admits that after reading the Bible every day for 30 years, he’s missed the message it teaches.
Graciously, the film makers do not use the religious tone to harangue non-believers into becoming God-fearing believers. While the message of the movie is about the power of faith, the only condemnation portrayed is a discourse on modern consumerism. Solara asks what life was like before the war; Eli explains we had more than we needed and we threw away stuff that people now kill for.
Coloring is as much a part of the cast as Denzel or Oldman. The Hughes Brothers drained the film of color leaving mostly sepia tints of brown, gray, and green. It is an interesting lesson in using color to tell a story, but in the long run is a burdensome. The desert landscapes and burnt skies set the mood for the movie but it adds a sense of somnolence to an all ready despondent plot. The Hughes Brothers play this aspect of film making to a maddening degree – exploiting it with wide panoramic shots of clouds, distant injections of barren wastelands, excessive close ups, and silhouetted action sequences.
While the coloring is overbearing, it also highlights moments of poignant grief – most memorably (without spoiling the plot) is Eli reading from Second Timothy chapter four in the final scene.
There are bits of biting humor. Eli smelling roadside bandits. Eli sending Solara to retrieve his sunglasses. The crazy old couple serving tea. And in one of my favorite scenes, Solara asks Eli to read the Bible to her (she – like most people under the age of 30 can’t read because they were born after the war). Eli quotes Psalm 23 which Solara states is beautiful. She asks Eli if he wrote it; he answers “yes” before admitting he’s joking.
However, neither heartbreak nor humor is the vehicle that carries this mission of faith. This is more Bekah’s warning than mine: it is a little violent. And by a little, I mean it is violent on an epically gratuitous scale. Limbs are severed, heads are decapitated, the air is filled with gunfire and explosions, and there are several references to cannibalism. Eli handles his weaponry (machete, bow & arrow, pistol and sawed-off shotgun) with surgical accuracy. Carnegie uses a brutally destructive arsenal to hunt down Eli (rocket launchers and gatling guns). And it is all done with the stylistic finesse of the gospel according to Kill Bill.
Be prepared. The pacing is slow. In the first ten minutes of film, the only dialog is Eli talking to a mouse. The tenor of the movie is also unsettling (likely done intentionally). Watching Eli sharpen his machete while listening to How Can You Mend a Broken Heart is a little disconcerting.
The acting is as good as it the post-apocalyptic genre gets. Gary Oldman is convincing in his maniacal thirst for power. Denzel Washington’s devotion (and ultimately compassion) proves his worth in Hollywood. Even Mila Kunis (despite looking like she’s dressed in the best Banana Republic the apocalypse has to offer) perfectly portrays the dichotomy of naïveté and emotional strength. There are also a couple of great cameos from Tom Waits (musician) and Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange).
Bekah recommends it as a movie worth watching but not one she’d want to see more than once. I want to see it again – if only to see if Denzel’s character stays true to the story’s final twist. The Book of Eli is also a great way to launch conversations about matters of faith. This movie sparked more discussion between Bekah and me than any other movie since... well... that I can remember.
Our dialog continued from the theater to the car (and for most of the drive home from Spokane Valley).
“Would you do that? Would you walk for 30 years?” Bekah asked.
“I don’t know.”
“It was a little too violent... and too much swearing.” Yet she likes the Die Hard movies which expels more bullets than a trigger happy NRA member at a shooting range and drops more f-bombs than a drunken sailor.
“Well,” I rebutted, “most of the violence was in self defense, and the vulgarity was from the bad guys.”
“True. And Eli’s motivation made sense. But still... did they have to show the guys head getting chopped off? And with a machete? It’s just so much more personal.”
PS: for the record, I’ve satisfied my post-apocalyptic fix for a while.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
2012
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to set up a bank of TVs and simultaneously play a bunch of disaster flicks on them? The Towering Inferno, Earthquake, Armageddon, The Poseidon Adventure, Dante's Peak, and Hard Rain on a stack of six big screen TV's... I'm sure you haven't, but just in case you have wondered - Roland Emmerich was thinking of you.
Emmerich threw down the gauntlet when he blew up the White House in Independence Day. He is the man who set the standard for the modern era of the disaster genre. Yet, he's never quite lived up to the expectations he created. His movies have been more hype than substance (the quirky Godzilla and the plodding Day After Tomorrow are a couple of examples). Now with 2012 he aims to out do himself (and every other apocalyptic movie ever made) in both it's epic scale and epic duration.
Yes I said duration. It is a long movie. I'd recommend using the facilities immediately before the opening credits. Despite the long running time (158 minutes) Emmerich fills that time wisely. It's not the "when will this movie ever end" kind of Transformers 2 long... just the "my bladder is going to burst at any moment" kind. If it wasn't for the one liter of Mt Dew I chugged prior to the movie's beginning, I would have barely noticed the length.
The scenes of destruction (of which there were many) were evenly spaced - unlike some other movies that pack it all in to the fist 20 minutes of film (I'm talking about you The Core). While the dialog is not Oscar worthy, it's not a distraction. The conversations were practical (all though mildly predictable), punctuated with intentional humor, and a self-parodying outlook on the concept of cataclysmic events.
There are a couple of cheese ball moments (The Governator Schwarzenegger's cameo and an obnoxious fissure that splits a couple after the man mentions feeling like there is something separating them) but those clips are few and do not take away from the grandeur of the total and inescapable destruction that Emmerich celebrates for nearly an two hours and forty minutes.
As California sinks into the Pacific, a cruise ship and aircraft carrier are upended in tidal waves, buildings collapse, Yellowstone explodes, and Woody Harrelson goes crazy, you can't help but think how awesome it all looks. And while we know the story is completely implausible, we enjoy it. We know a puddle-jumper plane can't outrun (outfly?) a pyroclastic flow, but we sit on the edge of our seats to see it happen. We know that the earth will not open up to swallow the Vatican, but it makes compelling cinematography. And amidst the chaos is a plot. A decent one. And while some disaster movies center on one story, 2012 takes on a few. The strength of family, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Political and humanitarian ethics. Sacrifice and hope.
And with all that is splayed on the big screen during 2012, one of my favorite moments came after the movie was over (and I'm not talking about Adam Lambert's caterwauling during the closing credits). On my way out of the theater, I overheard two teen-aged girls talking.
"What sucks is like this is totally going to like happen like three days before Christmas," one of them said. (I wish I was joking.)
First of all... it's not. 2012 is a work of fiction - not a documentary. I won't get into the details, but the world will not end on 12/21/12. Astrophysicists, anthropologists, geologists, and many other scientific peoples have easily discounted the proposed meaning of Mayan prophesies. It is well documented. Google it. So I got a good laugh at the girls' academic naiveté, but I am also a bit puzzled by their arithmetic. The end of the Mayan long count calendar is December 12th of 2012. Last time I checked, Christmas falls on the 25th of December... every year. So, if I do my math correctly, 25 minus 21 is 4... not three. And the movie wasn't vague about the date. But I digress. The movie is well worth the price. Emmerich not only lives up to the expectations, but surpasses it. The sad misguided conversation of two girls who are prone to believe anything is just icing on the cake.
(And (Warning: plot spoiler) good news for dog lovers, a few corgis survive along with a king charles cavalier. Good news for alien lovers, so does District 9)
Emmerich threw down the gauntlet when he blew up the White House in Independence Day. He is the man who set the standard for the modern era of the disaster genre. Yet, he's never quite lived up to the expectations he created. His movies have been more hype than substance (the quirky Godzilla and the plodding Day After Tomorrow are a couple of examples). Now with 2012 he aims to out do himself (and every other apocalyptic movie ever made) in both it's epic scale and epic duration.
Yes I said duration. It is a long movie. I'd recommend using the facilities immediately before the opening credits. Despite the long running time (158 minutes) Emmerich fills that time wisely. It's not the "when will this movie ever end" kind of Transformers 2 long... just the "my bladder is going to burst at any moment" kind. If it wasn't for the one liter of Mt Dew I chugged prior to the movie's beginning, I would have barely noticed the length.
The scenes of destruction (of which there were many) were evenly spaced - unlike some other movies that pack it all in to the fist 20 minutes of film (I'm talking about you The Core). While the dialog is not Oscar worthy, it's not a distraction. The conversations were practical (all though mildly predictable), punctuated with intentional humor, and a self-parodying outlook on the concept of cataclysmic events.
There are a couple of cheese ball moments (The Governator Schwarzenegger's cameo and an obnoxious fissure that splits a couple after the man mentions feeling like there is something separating them) but those clips are few and do not take away from the grandeur of the total and inescapable destruction that Emmerich celebrates for nearly an two hours and forty minutes.
As California sinks into the Pacific, a cruise ship and aircraft carrier are upended in tidal waves, buildings collapse, Yellowstone explodes, and Woody Harrelson goes crazy, you can't help but think how awesome it all looks. And while we know the story is completely implausible, we enjoy it. We know a puddle-jumper plane can't outrun (outfly?) a pyroclastic flow, but we sit on the edge of our seats to see it happen. We know that the earth will not open up to swallow the Vatican, but it makes compelling cinematography. And amidst the chaos is a plot. A decent one. And while some disaster movies center on one story, 2012 takes on a few. The strength of family, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Political and humanitarian ethics. Sacrifice and hope.
And with all that is splayed on the big screen during 2012, one of my favorite moments came after the movie was over (and I'm not talking about Adam Lambert's caterwauling during the closing credits). On my way out of the theater, I overheard two teen-aged girls talking.
"What sucks is like this is totally going to like happen like three days before Christmas," one of them said. (I wish I was joking.)
First of all... it's not. 2012 is a work of fiction - not a documentary. I won't get into the details, but the world will not end on 12/21/12. Astrophysicists, anthropologists, geologists, and many other scientific peoples have easily discounted the proposed meaning of Mayan prophesies. It is well documented. Google it. So I got a good laugh at the girls' academic naiveté, but I am also a bit puzzled by their arithmetic. The end of the Mayan long count calendar is December 12th of 2012. Last time I checked, Christmas falls on the 25th of December... every year. So, if I do my math correctly, 25 minus 21 is 4... not three. And the movie wasn't vague about the date. But I digress. The movie is well worth the price. Emmerich not only lives up to the expectations, but surpasses it. The sad misguided conversation of two girls who are prone to believe anything is just icing on the cake.
(And (Warning: plot spoiler) good news for dog lovers, a few corgis survive along with a king charles cavalier. Good news for alien lovers, so does District 9)
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